Sunday, November 09, 2008
Friday, November 07, 2008
Hey Conservatives, Thanks for All the E-mails!
Now that the election is over and peace reigns throughout the land, I just want to reach out to my Republican friends who were thoughtful enough to forward hundreds of e-mails to me setting out the many deficiencies of Barak Obama and the absolute chaos and destruction of the American way of life that would occur if he were to be elected.
You were kind enough to put forth enough effort to click the “Forward” button and enter my e-mail address so that I would not make the horrific mistake of voting for such a person. In particular, you warned me:
1. That he was a radical Muslim and would not recite the Pledge of Allegiance nor place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem nor wear a lapel flag pin,
2. That he was sworn into his past offices using the Koran,
3. That he is going to tax everybody until they can’t function and everybody will lose their jobs as a result,
4. That his campaign was being financed by Hugo Chavez,
5. That he is the one described in Revelation as the anti-Christ,
6. That he wasn’t eligible to be president because he wasn’t a natural born citizen and his birth certificate had been forged,
7. That he “blew off” U.S. soldiers during a trip to Afghanistan,
8. That he wanted to distribute the wealth,
9. That he wants to take away your guns, including your assault rifles used for hunting the savage deer,
10. That his house was paid for by felons,
11. That he was the gay lover of an “unrepentant terrorist”,
12. That Michelle ordered lobster and other expensive room service items at the Waldorf Astoria,
13. That he would require all of us to adopt a Muslim name;
14. That he was the most liberal man on the face of the planet and would immediately legalize all abortions during any stage in the pregnancy, and
about a hundred other items designed to scare all of us into not voting for him.
Now that the election is over, I wanted to thank you and to tell you all that you were all completely right! He is all of the things you said and has done all of the dastardly things you outlined but 65,000,000 of us were too god damned stupid to realize it in time. So, I want to outline a few of the actions that you will be required to undertake starting immediately after the inauguration.
1. Please gather all the handguns, shotguns, rifles and other items of self defense in your homes and carry them to the curb. Local members of the Bloods and the Crips will be by in their low riders to pick up the guns and keep them in a safe place guarded by the gangs. Don’t even think about hunting and if you bitch too much, we’re coming back for the fishing rods too.
2. When the guns have been picked up, please gather at least 50% of your net worth, convert it to cash (preferably Euros) and also carry it to the curb. When the gangs have completed the gun grab, they will return for the cash. This cash will be distributed to those that don’t need it but that have not worked in some time, so that the wealth will be more equitably distributed. Those getting pregnant specifically for the purpose of receiving money will be given priority. If you hold any of your money back, you will be prosecuted or shot with the guns you formerly owned.
3. Get prepared for the Rapture. Since Obama is the antichrist, he will attack Israel sometime during the next 7 years, which will cause Jesus to return and they will then throw down in the Battle of Armageddon. You might want to buy a really tall horse because the blood will run as deep as a horse’s chest in the valley of Megiddo.
4. You should all begin to choose your Muslim name. Ahmed, Osama, Yasser and Butch are all preferred. This will be entered into your birth certificate at the same time you have 666 tattooed on your forehead.
5. You should try to keep any pregnancies secret. Kinda like Bristol Palin. If your pregnancy is discovered, you may be required to undergo an abortion at any time.
6. You will be required to have at least one gay relationship. This can be marriage, an affair or just something on the down low. If you don’t voluntarily submit to this, roving gangs of homosexuals on welfare will take care of that for you.
7. The U.S. flag will be redrawn to include Muslim symbols. The words “under God” and “In God We Trust” will be removed from all pledges and currency. You will not be allowed to post a copy of the Ten Commandments on the wall of your home, much less on a giant hunk of granite in front of a public building.
8. Bibles will be collected and burned. The government will issue a pamphlet with all you need to know.
9. Large areas of the U.S. (starting with the Red States) will be turned over to terrorists. They will be allowed to practice flying planes into buildings, committing suicide bombings and throwing anthrax into your eyes for three days each week.
10. Prayers will be required in public schools. Just like you have always wanted. Just send your children to school with a mat and have them study enough geography to know which direction Mecca is.
So, don’t send me any more e-mails telling me how bad Obama was or is. We already know that and we acknowledge that you were right. We also know that even if all of these things were really true (for the sarcasm impaired, none are), we would still be better off than we were under Bush. Now STFU.
You were kind enough to put forth enough effort to click the “Forward” button and enter my e-mail address so that I would not make the horrific mistake of voting for such a person. In particular, you warned me:
1. That he was a radical Muslim and would not recite the Pledge of Allegiance nor place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem nor wear a lapel flag pin,
2. That he was sworn into his past offices using the Koran,
3. That he is going to tax everybody until they can’t function and everybody will lose their jobs as a result,
4. That his campaign was being financed by Hugo Chavez,
5. That he is the one described in Revelation as the anti-Christ,
6. That he wasn’t eligible to be president because he wasn’t a natural born citizen and his birth certificate had been forged,
7. That he “blew off” U.S. soldiers during a trip to Afghanistan,
8. That he wanted to distribute the wealth,
9. That he wants to take away your guns, including your assault rifles used for hunting the savage deer,
10. That his house was paid for by felons,
11. That he was the gay lover of an “unrepentant terrorist”,
12. That Michelle ordered lobster and other expensive room service items at the Waldorf Astoria,
13. That he would require all of us to adopt a Muslim name;
14. That he was the most liberal man on the face of the planet and would immediately legalize all abortions during any stage in the pregnancy, and
about a hundred other items designed to scare all of us into not voting for him.
Now that the election is over, I wanted to thank you and to tell you all that you were all completely right! He is all of the things you said and has done all of the dastardly things you outlined but 65,000,000 of us were too god damned stupid to realize it in time. So, I want to outline a few of the actions that you will be required to undertake starting immediately after the inauguration.
1. Please gather all the handguns, shotguns, rifles and other items of self defense in your homes and carry them to the curb. Local members of the Bloods and the Crips will be by in their low riders to pick up the guns and keep them in a safe place guarded by the gangs. Don’t even think about hunting and if you bitch too much, we’re coming back for the fishing rods too.
2. When the guns have been picked up, please gather at least 50% of your net worth, convert it to cash (preferably Euros) and also carry it to the curb. When the gangs have completed the gun grab, they will return for the cash. This cash will be distributed to those that don’t need it but that have not worked in some time, so that the wealth will be more equitably distributed. Those getting pregnant specifically for the purpose of receiving money will be given priority. If you hold any of your money back, you will be prosecuted or shot with the guns you formerly owned.
3. Get prepared for the Rapture. Since Obama is the antichrist, he will attack Israel sometime during the next 7 years, which will cause Jesus to return and they will then throw down in the Battle of Armageddon. You might want to buy a really tall horse because the blood will run as deep as a horse’s chest in the valley of Megiddo.
4. You should all begin to choose your Muslim name. Ahmed, Osama, Yasser and Butch are all preferred. This will be entered into your birth certificate at the same time you have 666 tattooed on your forehead.
5. You should try to keep any pregnancies secret. Kinda like Bristol Palin. If your pregnancy is discovered, you may be required to undergo an abortion at any time.
6. You will be required to have at least one gay relationship. This can be marriage, an affair or just something on the down low. If you don’t voluntarily submit to this, roving gangs of homosexuals on welfare will take care of that for you.
7. The U.S. flag will be redrawn to include Muslim symbols. The words “under God” and “In God We Trust” will be removed from all pledges and currency. You will not be allowed to post a copy of the Ten Commandments on the wall of your home, much less on a giant hunk of granite in front of a public building.
8. Bibles will be collected and burned. The government will issue a pamphlet with all you need to know.
9. Large areas of the U.S. (starting with the Red States) will be turned over to terrorists. They will be allowed to practice flying planes into buildings, committing suicide bombings and throwing anthrax into your eyes for three days each week.
10. Prayers will be required in public schools. Just like you have always wanted. Just send your children to school with a mat and have them study enough geography to know which direction Mecca is.
So, don’t send me any more e-mails telling me how bad Obama was or is. We already know that and we acknowledge that you were right. We also know that even if all of these things were really true (for the sarcasm impaired, none are), we would still be better off than we were under Bush. Now STFU.
Friday, October 03, 2008
VP Debate: "...a data dump from a very appealing droid"
The Washington Post describes Sarah Palin's debate style best: "...a data dump from a very appealing droid".
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Overload From the Conventions and the Aftermath
There are so many things that I wanted to talk about resulting from the political conventions and the campaigning since, but every time I start I get so freaking disturbed that I end up hitting the Delete button in disgust.
The power and beauty of Obama's part of the convention and the unmitigated, rank cynicism of the appointment of Caribou Barbie by the Repugs and the complete auctioning of McCain's soul just leaves me speechless.
So, I guess I have nothing else to say now.
Except, I fear for our republic.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
See How Much Better It Is To Have Friends Than to Piss Everybody Off!
Just look at this picture of Obama and the crowd in Germany yesterday. If you want to engage in a "Where's Waldo" minute, just count the cameras and notice that virtually everybody has a smile on their face. A smile! At a U.S. politician! Now, try to image the scene if George, the Lesser or Dick Cheney were the speaker. It's truly better to have friends than to try to kill all our enemies. Oh yeah, and look at all the U.S. flags. In Germany!
Somehow, the sun shines just a little brighter today.
Monday, July 21, 2008
NetRoots Nation - Thank you, Al Gore, for inventing the internet.
NetRoots Nation, a convention of progressive bloggers, came to Austin last week. Because I have been messing with this little POS blog for a couple of years and because the pioneers of progressive blogging were coming to a venue just down the street from me, I jumped at the chance to attend.
And, Wow!, am I glad I did.
It was a totally refreshing experience to be immersed in a sea (yes, sea, compared to the puddle or droplet of the opposing conservative gathering happening during the same time) of people whose ideals and goals are very altruistic. These people are truly concerned with the world and our nation and what the current administration has done to subvert both. Of course there were grumpy people there who had an axe to grind and who challenged the less liberal participants at every opportunity. There was the guy who kept hollering at Nancy Pelosi: "Hey Nancy, where's our goddamned impeachment?" Bad manners, yes, but a sentiment that many (including myself) shared.
I had the opportunity to listen to, inter alia, Richard Clarke, John Dean, Wesley Clark, Howard Dean, Markos Moulitsas, Harold Ford, Jr., Paul Krugman, Digby Parton, Rick Perstein, Duncan Black, Nancy Pelosi and Al Gore. There were so many good choices and times that overlapped, it was impossible to go to all the discussions presented.
The "surprise" visit of Al Gore on Saturday morning during Nancy Pelosi's session was very dramatic and the first time I had the opportunity to witness Al Gore in action in person. Very impressive. Others who blew away the audience were Wesley Clark and Howard Dean. Everybody was good but not everybody had the setting to have the dramatic impact that these had.
Thanks to the organizers of NetRoots Nation for giving me this opportunity. I feel better about the world.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Another Gala Event
We have had the privilege of having two of our offspring marry in the past year. Both have married beautiful, intelligent and successful women that love them (no accounting for taste). We couldn't be more thrilled.
The last one came with an added bonus: a beautiful instant grand daughter. She is amazingly intelligent, outgoing and is a wonderful addition to our family. We are indeed blessed.
Sometimes life overflows.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
FISA - Freaking Insult to Sentient Americans
The Senate passed an amendment to the FISA legislation today by a resounding majority. This gives Bush, the lesser, Cheney, the lord of darkness, the unlawful telecoms and all their lobbyists and their controlling Republican donors all they could have ever hoped for. I wrote a post about this when the domestically battered Democratic controlled congress passed a stop gap measure before. Here it is again and I still at a loss for words as to how much of a betrayal this is by the Democrats. I truly resent their position.
Russ Feingold is the Man but we are totally screwed.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
There Oughta Be A Law.
A number of responsible nations, including England, but not including the U.S. (I said responsible, remember) have approved the ban of cluster bombs, those evil devices that are basically good for blowing up children that pick up the undetonated bomblets.
Now, if there was just a treaty for the ban of clusterfucks or clusterfuckheads.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Follow Up to "Political Theater Comes To Austin"
A couple of people took the time to read this little POS blog (Thank you very much) and comment on my recent post. They took me to task by suggesting that I had advocated doing away with the primaries and democracy in general. I really am in violent agreement with their positions, i.e. that we should have the most democratic and fair primaries possible (and let's not even start to talk about the bewilderment that are caucuses). I believe that the nominees should be elected by popular vote. It even seems to me to make sense to apportion the delegates by the overall popular vote in the state, rather than by congressional district, even though that may give cities a disproportional influence. I am opposed to the super delegate concept as that seems to be a mechanism to thwart the popular will.
So, the point I was really trying to make (perhaps fairly inartfully) by engaging in some hyperbole, is that the most important thing in this whole mess is to elect the Democratic nominee. We have the luxury of two great possibilities. If you are displeased with the manner in which the nominee is chosen, work to change it, but please don't stay home in November.
Because, if you would rather live in Pakistan, try 8 years of McCain and you won't even feel like you have to move.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Political Theater Comes to Austin
Hillary and Obama are coming to town tonight. Good political theater but hardly anything else other than the opportunity for the Democratic Party to rend itself completely in two and allow the Republican nominee to win in November. I’ve seen polls that indicate that a majority of Obama supporters will not vote for Hillary if she is the nominee and that more than 40% of Hillary supporters would return the favor. The Obamanians (Obamaniacs?) are particularly concerned that Hillary and the Clintonians will pull some kind of shenanigan at the Convention through the “Super” Delegates or otherwise and end up with the nomination. If that happens, there may be mutiny in the Democratic ranks. This could end up being on of the biggest tragedies of our time as I believe that this Country can not survive as a country I want to live in if it is subjected to another 8 years of Republican reign. McCain already has had his lips surgically attached to Bush’s ass and if he is not the nominee because of this lobbyist/mistress story in the New York Times then Huckabee might be our Pastor in Chief. Heaven forbid! (and I mean that in the most literal sense).
To plagiarize (another potential splitter) from a Pepsi commercial: WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!
It is imperative that you put your differences behind you after the convention and support the Democratic nominee. The stakes are too high not to do so.
I plan to vote for Hillary in the primary. I will do this because I know her personally and have worked with her in a business and legal setting in a prior life. I know she is extremely intelligent, aggressive, personable and more than competent to be president (particularly with the abysmal standards being set by the present occupant). She couldn’t pick me out of a line up as her life has been relatively full the last few years but I would be proud to vote for her for president. I would also be proud to vote for Obama. He seems to have the charisma and the ability to motivate and unify the country and I could certainly live with that.
I want the Democratic Convention to be a model of democracy and harmony but even if the Super Delegates lock the regular delegates out of the auditorium, strip them naked and paint them purple and then play “Rock, Paper, Scissors” and nominate Scooby Doo as the Democratic nominee, I am going to have a Scooby Doo bumper sticker and yard sign and give the maximum amount possible to his campaign. It’s that important to get the Repugs out.
Scooby snacks for everyone.
To plagiarize (another potential splitter) from a Pepsi commercial: WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!
It is imperative that you put your differences behind you after the convention and support the Democratic nominee. The stakes are too high not to do so.
I plan to vote for Hillary in the primary. I will do this because I know her personally and have worked with her in a business and legal setting in a prior life. I know she is extremely intelligent, aggressive, personable and more than competent to be president (particularly with the abysmal standards being set by the present occupant). She couldn’t pick me out of a line up as her life has been relatively full the last few years but I would be proud to vote for her for president. I would also be proud to vote for Obama. He seems to have the charisma and the ability to motivate and unify the country and I could certainly live with that.
I want the Democratic Convention to be a model of democracy and harmony but even if the Super Delegates lock the regular delegates out of the auditorium, strip them naked and paint them purple and then play “Rock, Paper, Scissors” and nominate Scooby Doo as the Democratic nominee, I am going to have a Scooby Doo bumper sticker and yard sign and give the maximum amount possible to his campaign. It’s that important to get the Repugs out.
Scooby snacks for everyone.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Movie Review - "Juno" - Mothra 6.9
For rating metrics, see post of May 2, 2007.
Juno is the eponymous main character. She is a marginally weird 16 year old that gets pregnant from having sex in a chair with her boyfriend one day when they are bored. Although he disputes the bored part because he knew that the Blair Witch Project was coming on later and she hadn't seen it since the theaters and therefore couldn't have been bored. Juno decides to have an abortion but decides against it and contracts with a yuppie couple to adopt it when she delivers. The couple then decides to split up. Juno is conflicted. Spoiler alert: it all works out fairly sweetly, in fact, really sweetly. I have seen some really sweet movies lately (see earlier review on "Enchanted").
Ellen Page plays Juno and is very good. She is the smartest and most together (except for the getting pregnant part) of all the characters and has some really good lines. The writing is exceptional. Michael Cera of Arrested Development and Super Bad is the boy friend. He plays the same dork that he always plays. Jason Bateman (Michael's dad in Arrested Development) plays the proposed adoptive father that decides he doesn't want to be a dad in this one. Jennifer Garner ("The Kingdom", "Alias", "Daredevil", etc.) does pretty well as the suburbanite who wants to be a mother but doesn't really know how.
Quirky, funny, bitter sweet, this one is at least worth a rental and certainly a place in the Netflix queue.
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